Forgiveness is Essential to Your Healing: Part 1

Forgiving is a key component in healing our past trauma and pain. So, to ensure we are on the same page regarding forgiveness I am going to discuss several points about forgiveness:

• What is forgiveness?
• What is not forgiveness?
• Why forgive?
• Who to forgive?

First, let’s consider what forgiveness is… It is a decision you make. You choose to release others from the payment they owe you. You give up your right to cling to offense and demand payment for the wrongs done to you. You stop nursing resentment for your grievances and cancel any debt you think is due you.

Second, let’s consider what forgiveness is not…it doesn’t mean the offense that happened was ok or not important. It doesn’t mean the offender will not be held responsible. They are accountable to God for their actions. God will be their just judge and bring restitution. It also doesn’t mean you are required to stay in a relationship with the offender.

Third, you might be asking,  “Why do I need to forgive other than not wanting to carry around that stinking dead body?” Well, we need to forgive because God commands us to do so in His word. As we read in Matthew 6:15, “But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will  your Father forgive your trespasses.” So any unforgiveness is a blockage in your relationship with God and others. That is something you want to deal with in order to walk in full freedom as a child of God.

Fourth, you need to forgive everyone and this can include others, ourselves and God for any judgments you have against Him. This cross illustration captures this process well.

The horizontal bar represents when you forgive others. The vertical bar represents when you release God from any judgments against Him. Now imagine a circle drawn around both the horizontal and vertical bars of the cross. This represents when you forgive yourself.